dannykitten

04:36 pm: Apologies
I almost never write in this anymore cos generally I've used it for whining, and ive found it easier to resist doing this for a while. Til today. Having the worst day I've had for about four years, i can't stop my mind going to lots of bad places. Today I was told there have been two complaints about me at work in the past week, calling me arrogant cocky and rude. Feel completely crushed because I put my all into my job, and I dont know why I sometimes find it so much harder to cope there than the others. I dont know whats wrong with me. Do I have depression? bipolar? BPD? autism??! Whatever it is, I dont feel as if Im like other people, theres something not quite right in my head. And whats weird is sometimes (in fact most of the time) I dont feel this way at all, but when I have a bad day its like the world stops turning and I dont know how to put it right. Or I do know, but I dont seem able to do it. Think I might need some sort of external help, my issues are clearly making me appear snappy and flustered when I'm at work. And then theres the whole problem of still bein in catering when ive been to uni. uni doesnt help me work out what the hell i want to do with myself long term though. At this rate I wont even get a promotion at work, since I dotn even seem to be doing a good job there!! Just feeling kind of hopeless right now.
I'm sure I'll get past this, I have done in the past. Thanks for reading.

Dx

04:58 pm: Random murmurings.
Feel like rambling a little about the current situation with me. I'm feeling an extreme mix of good and bad lately. Good points. I love being in Glasgow again. And I enjoy the course. Bad points. I HATE Halls this time round, wish I'd found a private flat but Halls seemed the easiest option, and least likely to fall through. Plus in order to not become seriously in debt (immediately) I'm having to work almost fulltime hours. And my job is hellish. Which means I have little time and less energy to do the course, let alone do anything else such as join societies, and do other exciting things. In some ways I feel like Im not experiencing much of Glasgow, despite bein back here, I just drift through it from one hell to another. The combination of factors is making a somewhat negative whole. Halls is far too noisy and disruptive for me to ever get any sleep (which proves especially hellish when I'm doing early shifts) Halls without job, maybe ok. Job without Halls would be ok, but unless someone wants my room Im stuck there. Argh! I've dug myself into a hole! In a way I cant wait til june so I can finally leave Halls and get a flat, but by then the course is finishing so I dont really want to wish that time away! I have one lifeline in the way of a Hardship Grant thingy. If I get that i can reduce my hours and relax a little. If not, then bollocks!

If anyone has any useful advice then brill. If not, dont worry, Im just letting off steam. It just feels like its all got a bit on top of me lately. I forgot to mention I feel kinda bullied by two of my supervisors, but that didnt surprise me. Meh. Ok bye for now. What a cheery first-entry-for-ages. Lol!

05:29 pm: Right, gonna be short but sweet cos im too hungover and tired to write much. but jus to let any glasgow folk know im planning to pop up for a couple of days in june, likely around the 20th til 24th, so if anyones around would be swell to see you! let me know what ur plans are folks! otherwise, hope everyone's grand, and catch ya later x x 

Danny

02:13 pm: An unusual occurrence

I'm bored and ill (prob both my own fault) so, for a change, I'm going to write a post. Though what about, I have little idea.

Am still working at Maxwell's, have been there for over 6 months now.  I like it most of the time but then I worry that at 24 my life doesn't seem to be going anywhere yet.  My mind's all over the place about what I'm going to do and when. In a way I would like to travel and see some of the world for a few months. But I'm so homegrown and get bad homesickness so I dunno if it'd work. Have also been putting some thought into going back to college to do a teacher training course, or if not that some other type of qualification I can use. I like Lancashire now, and have settled into things but I'm worried I may get too comfy and fall into a rut. l Still don't have a lot of confidence in myself and the thought that that will hold me back makes me panic. But I'll have to find a way to bite the bullet and throw myself into something daring and exciting. Not today, or even in this couple of months, but soon.

For those who don't know, I was back in glasgow last month, finally. just want to tell Susoeffl that her presence was sorely missed when I returned to xlands, which otherwise still rocks! Was karaokeing last night, 'America' by Razorlight has joined my repertoire cos I rock at it! hehe. I wanna come back up to glasgow again in summer though haven't bothered working out any plan yet. Will get round to that at some point. Didn't get to hang out with Lauren, and didnt get to eat yummy food at antipasti, so there's unfinished business afoot. Haha

Right that's enough waffle for now. Sorry this isn't cut, I've forgotten how to do that lol. So long since I've bothered to use this really. Ta ta for now, possums!

xxx

01:39 pm: Where did all the time go?
I can't believe it's actually been over 4 months since I last wrote in this, thats a third of a year gone! WTF!

Anyway, decided to pop up a little update in case anyone's still (or ever was) wondering what happened to me, lol. Still living in lancashire with mum and bro and the crazy cats, and still working in Maxwell's, a local cafe and wine bar. Anyone who's laughin at me for using my degree to become a waiter can shut up, its not a final career choice and never was. For me this is essentially a quiet year where I make no life-changing plans and instead opt for a regular routine of work and having fun and chilling out. And its generally been fun so far, despite inevitable ups and downs. Since I started work I've started meeting people and goin out and havin a laugh, so im no longer isolated down here, and i know more people than jus my immediate family, lol.

Whilst life down here has improved, I still miss glasgow a lot. But that needn't last much longer cos on feb 12th, I will be returning to the dear city for a week! Very exciting, and most of my friends who I remember are still in glasgow, so hope I get a chance to see them all again! Shame it's only for a week, but Ive still got plenty of holiday time to use up (this'll be my first week off since I started work) so may have several other opportunities to come up. so yay to that!

Anyway, thats my update for now. hope to hear from some of u lovely fellow LJ users soon! 

Tata for now!

Hugs, Danny xxx

09:56 pm: Update and random thoughts!
Hello! Cant be bothered writing since I left glasgow cos there's been little worth mentioning. Life is ok but frustrating. I want a job really badly, unemployment is makin me testy and life is getting blah! Want to make money so I can go visit glasgow. I miss it, life feels incomplete knowing Im not just here for a holiday this time.

Life got a bit more interesting fo ra week or so. had a nice time in Manchester with Edward last tuesday, and went to london this weekend, saw my best mate Amy which was lovely as usual. Stayed with dad and saw aunt and 94 yr old grandad for the first time in years!

Feel on the outside not bein in glasgow anymore. But Im not sure Id even move back if i had the chance! Goin back to places is not a good idea cos they tend not to be the same second time round, as far as i can tell! But visits are god and wanna come up as soon as I get sorted! Life needs direction and will hopefully find it soon! Dunno when ill come see folk, but not forgotten any of u and still miss ya tonnes!

Hope to hear from some of ya soon

TC Danny xxx

01:40 pm: Why do past sleeping partners always find it appropriate to tell me every sordid detail of their sexlife like I want to hear about it?

Is this the done thing? Well if so then I wish it wasn't. I'm not interested. You hear me. Am I bovered? Face bovered? It bores and annoys me, even when I don't still fancy the person. It's just like shutup! Grrr.

Stupid men.

11:57 am: So, the bad news is Ive left glasgow =( (well, I think its bad news anyway though some evil people might disagree!)

The good news is that I'm not an octopus! Lucky really. To elaborate, I physically didnt have enough arms to carry everything back, and my mum was suffering from severe asthma throughout so couldnt even carry her own suitcase let alone mine! to get to the point, I have to return to glasgow sooner than expected, to get the rest of my stuff. probably the end of the month, need to give Eilidh and Pip a chance to get settled in their new home (my old home!) before I bombard them with my presence (was bombard the right word?) So yay, for those who are interested, I'll be back for another piss up or whatever (and/or a second shift of tearful goodbyes!)

I graduated on thursday. It was a very impressive ceremony and Im happy with my parchment! Both my parents mede it up, despite being ill! My mum and dad got on the best they have for probably over 20 years, which was such a relief, cos I had to leave them alone together a few times! S'all good!

I'll miss glasgow and almost everyone in it so much! I promise not to be a stranger cos thats jus rude! :P

Hope to keep in touch with everyone, and c u all soon I hope! :)

Much love 

Danny xxx

07:18 pm: Random and pointless

"Tom" on myspace must never feel insecure.

 

He officially has over 88 million friends, for God's sake! How's that for feeling good about oneself?! :P

04:47 pm: Im fuckin stressed and pissed off. having arranged to move home on july 1st, ive found out that my landlord is not prepared for me to stay beyond the 30th. not even one fuckin night! wish id found this out for myself earlier, tickets home are already booked and b&bs are way more expensive than I thought!

so many people dont get to move into their flats on schedule cos the previous tenant hasnt quite left. but no. im not allowed to be one of those. not me! FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!

Spoken to my mum. We're going home on the friday instead.

Sorry Lauren, I wont be able to go to the karaoke anymore for the final night which I feel really poo about. Blame my stupid landlord :(